How to Go On an Expedition When Someone Loves You
The hardest part of an expedition isn’t the training or the logistics or the climb. It’s leaving someone behind.
Alpenglow guides and staff know this struggle well. Here’s how they navigate it, before a trip and during one.
Set Clear Expectations Before You Leave
May Perez runs our Tahoe office. Their partner Amity spends five months a year on high-altitude peaks, from the Cascades to the Alaska Range.
“Number one is communication for me,” Perez says. Before Amity leaves, Perez wants answers to a short list of questions:
- What is the plan?
- Will you be out of service, and for how long?
- Are you going alone or with other partners?
- Is there a backup plan, and what are the options?
- Can you send messages or photos by satellite phone?
Alpenglow guide Alex Mitchko, who has guided expeditions from Patagonia to Alaska, says that same clarity is what gets a partner to the green light, and keeps the relationship intact when you’re back. “Set clear expectations. Have an outline of how long you’ll be away. Telling them the objective and subjective risks and rewards helps your partner understand your why.”
For Perez, that conversation goes both ways. “Tie up any loose ends with arguments or disagreements before they leave. And understand that they might not respond right away once they’re out there. They’re allowed to be present in the moment. They’re also probably excited to come home to you.”
Build a Communication Plan
A standing check-in schedule does more for a relationship than sporadic updates, according to Mitchko. “With Starlink and better satellite coverage, connectivity on expeditions is at an all-time high. A simple good morning message goes further than you’d think when you’re 7,000 miles from home.”
Make Time for Each Other Before You Go
Perez also points to the days before departure. Spend them on things you both actually enjoy, not just errands. “Body doubling, running errands or chores together, that doesn’t count as quality time for me. Rest together. Make time for intimacy. Say out loud what you feel for each other.”
Need some more reassurance, or assistance getting your plan together? We’re here for you. Schedule a call with our team so you come to the conversation with the facts.
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